Over several decades, I spent time in Hollywood learning how to look and sound and be everything that the entertainment industry compelled me to be, in order to be successful. It turned out to be a total crock of sh*t!
There was a book that became popular which compelled people to never dine alone. Its intent was to focus on building a network which in and of itself, is quite valuable. We are not little islands and work best as part of a team or conglomerate. While this is inherently true, it’s not always an option and (being alone) should not carry a stigma. Unfortunately, this thinking permeated Hollywood with a feeling that–if you were alone–there was something dreadfully wrong with you. “If you are alone, you must be a loser.” Wrong
I did everything that was expected of me. I complied. I compromised. I bent. And I still did not have the career I wanted (maybe even deserved). It took me years to get over this and I still struggle with it. Everything in society is telling us autonomy and independence make a person isolated and/or unloveable. I have found the opposite to be true. The more confident I am in my own ability to manage my life, the more equipped I feel to collaborate with others. Ironic.
Eating lunch alone, going “out” alone does not make you a loner or an outcast. If being an individual and being unafraid of appearing as a solo artist makes one an outcast, then I’ll gladly be labeled as such. In fact, I would argue that being able to stand on your own requires strength and fortitude.
We need more individuals from all different walks of life, from all different cultures and environments, with a diversity of backgrounds to come together, like a dynamic mosaic of humanity. Every person is necessary! If you are okay with you–being alone with yourself–then just maybe other people will want to be with you. In fact, I would argue that your inner strength will draw others to you.
The world needs this now more than ever! You cannot be part of a whole if you cannot be an individual, first. Eat lunch alone. Don’t be afraid to go out into the world alone. Be you. You are the only you on this planet and the world needs you!
*If you are struggling and/or having thoughts of suicide, please text or call 988*
More on this topic here: I Have PTSD
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